"I wish to have a Happy and Healthy baby"

When we started our journey into the throws of adoption it was VERY over whelming.  So many things wen through my head.  Every possible scenario I could think of came to mind.  What if we don't get picked, what if we are bad parents, what if we get an ugly baby (sad but I think everyone thinks it,) what if our baby has a ton of health problems, lots of what ifs and not a lot of "I will love this baby with all my heart no matter what."  I think the negative was coming out because of the fact that we were a same sex couple so we would get looked over a lot.  

Well one day Jeremy and I went to this art installation in NYC at the New Museum and there was an installation about wishes, hopes and dreams.  Basically you would write down on a piece of paper a wish you have for yourself, someone else, or the world and then you would put it in a slot and take one of the pre-printed wishes.  There were probably 10 or so different ones to take, all ranging from curing cancer, to spending time with someone special, finishing college to "I wish to have a happy and healthy child."  So I wrote down my wish (I don't remember what it was" and took the ribbon out and put it in my wallet.  At the same time Jeremy was writing his wish and did the same thing.  We didn't tell each other which one we took but after we left we revealed that we had taken the same wish.  So we needed a place to put our wishes.  I always remember the horse shoe for good luck hanging over a door, or a mezuzah with the prayer in each room, or even a crucifix hang somewhere, so we picked two different locations and will take them down either when they crumble and disintegrate or we take know he is happy and healthy for sure.  We put one by the door we always come in from the outside which happens to be the backdoor and wrapped it around the banister.  The other we put on the door frame of our spare bedroom which eventually will be James's bedroom.  

For now he is happy and healthy and I am thinking the way things are going we don't have anything to worry about!

Back to work

So today I am going to work. I have been doing work from home with James close by and I have even brought him to an appointment that I had where I met an evaluator at Starbucks to discuss a device. Today though I am going without him. Jeremy went back to work pretty much when we came home from PA and I haven't thought anything of it, but now it's my turn. I have almost turned into a stay at home dad and sometimes I wish I could, but I think I would go nuts! At this stage where James is still little and just kind of wiggling around and needs me to hold him a lot and sleeps and eats and poops it is nutso, and I am getting quickly bored with laying on the floor or having tummy time. Don't get me wrong I am enjoying every min of it, but it's kind of like ground hog day, get up have a bottle, change a diaper, have a nap, play on the floor. I am excited for and dread the day he starts walking and can go on walks by himself. Anyways today I left and something happened, usually he has been waking up around midnight, gets swaddled and the is back to bed until 2:30/3am where he has a bottle and then asleep for another few hours and I get him out of his crib around 6:30. Well today he was still asleep at 6:30, and 7am...and 7:15...then he got up. My sisters are here for a few days so I can do some work and one of them got him up and dressed and I kissed I'm goodbye and left. I can't wait to get back home and see him! It's the first time with and "all day" babysitter,but he is in the capable hands of my sisters who have raised their own children and know what to do so I feel good, although I miss him terribly!

The story of James...

So I don't think I have written on the day we were told we were picked!  Since we started the whole adoption process and I am talking going to a meeting at the Gay and Lesbian Center in NYC for same sex couples who want to adopt.  This was about 3 years ago when we were living in our apartment in the Bronx.  We got the info, digested a little bit and then said, well we need a house because I am not raising this kid in a) in the Bronx (nothing wrong with that but I didn't want to) b) in a cramped apartment (again nothing wrong with that but I needed a yard and a little more space.)  So we started looking for houses that would work for us and grow with us.  So we found that.  Next step agencies: so we looked at a few.  We went with one because it was close to us and they were relatively inexpensive (we had to pay for all this you know.)  So we got all the paperwork together for a home study including background checks, medical reports, and recommendations and got everything passed and were approved for two children.
So fast forward a year...nothing except every once in a while our Social Worker telling us she wished Utah or Texas would adopt kids to gay couples because there are a lot of kids in those two states (doesn't help us.)  So I decide it's time to get an agency that will work with us.  So we found Adoptions from the Heart which works with 6 states and all these allow Same-sex adoption so we knew something good would happen.  First we needed an updated home study so this was October of 2011.  We got all of our stuff into AFTH by early December including an updated profile, DVD and took our first adoption class.  On January 3rd we got a call about a woman who MAY pick us, but was due in March, but didn't (or did she we don't know.)  So at that point on we were anxious for everyday that we didn't hear anything, but we kept on with our lives, went on vacation, went to Kentucky and Tennessee, had some good times, and waited, waited, waited.
We were having doubts at one point if this is REALLY what we want, do we want a kid right now, do we want to put it on hold, how will actually be as parents.  All of this was running through our heads in early April when I was traveling for work a lot.  So I took off for work on April 18 to go to NJ for a conference for a few days.  That morning I got a call from my SW at AFTH saying we were not picked by this one particular birth mom, but she may come back in a few days to say yes or no after chatting with the counselor.  So that bummed me out that day while I was away.  I went on and did my work the rest of the day, checked into the hotel I was staying at and went to the gym to use the treadmill.  While on the treadmill the calls came and I didn't know.  SW called and then Jeremy called and kept calling...and then I called him back and the conversation went something like this:
A: Whats up?
J: Um uh um uh...
A: What Penny called
J: We have to go to PA and get our baby, Friday...
A: What?
J: We got picked...
A: What?
J: Baby, PA friday...
A:But I have to work...tomorrow and Friday...I'll figure it out
J: Well we have to go.
A: Okay, well let's go.

So basically we stammered through a phone conversation and were about 150 miles away from each other and I was closer to where we needed to be on that Friday so J came down the next day and then we drove to PA to meet him, so nervous, so anxious the whole time.  I didn't know what to think except that the fates were telling us, "this is your time, this is what you need to do."  Everything worked out well.  We met James on Friday but the BM wanted the weekend to get all him stuff together since he was a month old.  We agreed and went to the hotel for the weekend and enjoyed some time exploring the area and were anxious the WHOLE time.

On Monday we met back at the agency and got to take James home.  Well we got to take him to the hotel until PA and CT told us we could bring him home, which ended up being 2 whole weeks, but when we got him home it was great!

That's our story in a nut shell and now we wait for the court to tell us everything is finalized.

Thanks for all the love and support everyone has given us!  

Smiles and Growing up!

New Crib!

So here we are almost 30 days with our little man and boy is time flying.  I know everyone said it would but geez.  I have been with him all of those 30 days and what can I say I am so happy that I get to see his changing attitude and changing demeanor everyday! If you have got to meet him I am so glad, he is getting a little personality.  If you haven't seen him in a little while he has changed!  For one thing we finally have his room all together and his crib is up and he is loving it!  He sleep got so much better when he moved from the Bassinet (mine has too.)  For one thing he is only getting up one time a night to have his bottle!  I am happy about that one  for another thing he is getting predictable about his sleep during the day!  I know he sleep sometime during the middle of the day so a stretch of between 2-3 three hours somewhere between 11 and 12 to about 1 and 3.

Guy Smiley!

Some other things he is doing is FINALLY smiling!  I have been waiting for that and he can be a bit crabby at times and just not want to smile or do anything but we have been getting some smiles out of him.  For the most part they were the "Yup I just pooped and now I'm happy" smiles.  So the other day he started smiling a few times.  I checked his diaper every time and wouldn't you know it he was just happy!  So yesterday we were singing outside on the side porch and he started smiling more and I finally got them on camera!  He also is wanting NOT to lay on his back to play anymore and wants to sit up.  I have been supporting him by his trunk and if I have my hand on his back he will hold his head up (it's also a good way for him to get his gas out, either end.)  So we caved in and I went to get him a Bumbo at Target and wouldn't you know he loved it.

When I first put him in he didn't know what to think, but this morning he was a lot happier about it so there he is sitting up in his little Bumbo.  Soon he'll be rolling over and eating food and scooting around!  He is growing up fast!

Also he goes to the docs next week so we shall see his real weight and length (I measured while he was sleeping and it looked like about 23 inches and weight was about 12 pounds or so.) Also our first post-placement meeting with the Adoption counselor is coming up so the process is moving along.  We are hoping by the fall everything should be finalized!

Home Finally!

Howdy Folks,

We have finally made it home!  Thursday we got the call that said we could go home and all the paperwork went through to say we could bring James home!  He is now 6 weeks old and growing everyday.  We are so happy to finally have him home and happy to start getting into a routine!  He is still a day sleeper so we are working on that slowly, we are hoping this will change and get him sleeping better at night (about 4-5 hours at a stretch, but 2am comes fast!)  This past weekend we had a few people come and meet him Jon (our wonderful house sitter, cat sitter, friend from up the street,) and Beth and Matt came down from MA.  We are so lucky to have such wonderful friends and family!
Also I went to go tell the hotel people that we would be checking out last friday and went to get an estimate of the bill.  Apparently an anonymous donor decided to pay for the hotel room.  We thank whomever it was because that is a GIGANTIC relief from us.  Thank you to whomever it was an know that our little family loves you and appreciates the generous gift.

Love,
Andy, Jeremy and James

 Hey all,
Just thought I would send another update from the field!  We are still in the Hotel waiting!  I guess paperwork is tied up in CT but at least we spoke with our social worker.  She is going to give them a little nudge to try and push things a long but who knows!  We could be here a few more days or we could leave tomorrow.  James is about 6 weeks now!  He is growing up quick and starting to grasp more and more each day.  He is lifting his head more when he is on his tummy.  We all can't wait to go home and get into our routine!  Thanks for all the texts, emails and calls everyone!  We love you all!

Andy, Jeremy, and James!

Hey folks,
Here we are, still in the hotel!  It has been one LONG week still waiting for PA and CT to tell us James can come home with us. Luckily for us Jeremy's parents (Grammy and Grampy) came down for a few days to spend some time with us and give us a little break, even though we thought of James the whole time.  We also got a stroller so outings have been easier for all of us.  We explored the Lehigh Valley Mall (you can only go there so many times) as well as the Crossing Outlets in the Poconos.  Today we may go explore New Hope or maybe just take a quick trip to downtown Bethlehem.  Well more to come when we finally get home!  Thank you for all the emails, texts and phone calls!  We appreciate all the love that has been shared with our new little family!  Can't wait for everyone to meet our little James and can't wait to see him grow up with all the family!

Andy, Jeremy and James!