"I wish to have a Happy and Healthy baby"

When we started our journey into the throws of adoption it was VERY over whelming.  So many things wen through my head.  Every possible scenario I could think of came to mind.  What if we don't get picked, what if we are bad parents, what if we get an ugly baby (sad but I think everyone thinks it,) what if our baby has a ton of health problems, lots of what ifs and not a lot of "I will love this baby with all my heart no matter what."  I think the negative was coming out because of the fact that we were a same sex couple so we would get looked over a lot.  

Well one day Jeremy and I went to this art installation in NYC at the New Museum and there was an installation about wishes, hopes and dreams.  Basically you would write down on a piece of paper a wish you have for yourself, someone else, or the world and then you would put it in a slot and take one of the pre-printed wishes.  There were probably 10 or so different ones to take, all ranging from curing cancer, to spending time with someone special, finishing college to "I wish to have a happy and healthy child."  So I wrote down my wish (I don't remember what it was" and took the ribbon out and put it in my wallet.  At the same time Jeremy was writing his wish and did the same thing.  We didn't tell each other which one we took but after we left we revealed that we had taken the same wish.  So we needed a place to put our wishes.  I always remember the horse shoe for good luck hanging over a door, or a mezuzah with the prayer in each room, or even a crucifix hang somewhere, so we picked two different locations and will take them down either when they crumble and disintegrate or we take know he is happy and healthy for sure.  We put one by the door we always come in from the outside which happens to be the backdoor and wrapped it around the banister.  The other we put on the door frame of our spare bedroom which eventually will be James's bedroom.  

For now he is happy and healthy and I am thinking the way things are going we don't have anything to worry about!

Back to work

So today I am going to work. I have been doing work from home with James close by and I have even brought him to an appointment that I had where I met an evaluator at Starbucks to discuss a device. Today though I am going without him. Jeremy went back to work pretty much when we came home from PA and I haven't thought anything of it, but now it's my turn. I have almost turned into a stay at home dad and sometimes I wish I could, but I think I would go nuts! At this stage where James is still little and just kind of wiggling around and needs me to hold him a lot and sleeps and eats and poops it is nutso, and I am getting quickly bored with laying on the floor or having tummy time. Don't get me wrong I am enjoying every min of it, but it's kind of like ground hog day, get up have a bottle, change a diaper, have a nap, play on the floor. I am excited for and dread the day he starts walking and can go on walks by himself. Anyways today I left and something happened, usually he has been waking up around midnight, gets swaddled and the is back to bed until 2:30/3am where he has a bottle and then asleep for another few hours and I get him out of his crib around 6:30. Well today he was still asleep at 6:30, and 7am...and 7:15...then he got up. My sisters are here for a few days so I can do some work and one of them got him up and dressed and I kissed I'm goodbye and left. I can't wait to get back home and see him! It's the first time with and "all day" babysitter,but he is in the capable hands of my sisters who have raised their own children and know what to do so I feel good, although I miss him terribly!